You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
