You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize