I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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