i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
