I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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