before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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