Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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