we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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