you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
