Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
