Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
