so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
