they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
