on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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