If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
