Do you still have your period?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
