How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
