can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
