beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
