what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize