what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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