I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Randomize
