He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
