I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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