Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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