New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How does one acquire holy water?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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