he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
