I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
