Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
