I wanna passion pit in your ass
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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