Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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