i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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