you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
