If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
