scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
