Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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