We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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