I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
