I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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