R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
