Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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