So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize