hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
