I wannas sexs uuuuu
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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