Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
