Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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