Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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