Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
