Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
