what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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