census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Randomize
