Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
