drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
How's work?
Spinning.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
