One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
