I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
