I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
