i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
