why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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