he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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