My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
