she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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