I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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